- CATEGORY: OPERATION PEACEMAKER
Category: Operation Peacemaker
Increasing Dating Violence
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- CATEGORY: OPERATION PEACEMAKER
Increasing Dating Violence
The culture in India is slowly changing so that dating is becoming a normal practice for much of the country’s youth. Consequently, there has been a rise in incidences of dating violence.
The culture in India is slowly changing so that dating is becoming a normal practice for much of the country’s youth. Consequently, there has been a rise in incidences of dating violence.
The difficulty of this slow change is that many of these young women lack the typical support systems of family, friends, and society at large due to the lack of acceptance of the practice of dating. In our experience, these young women are not only at high risk of dating violence, and face the universally common barriers to getting help, but they also face additional barriers due to the secrecy they feel they must keep around their dating lives.
Most young women who come to us for help for dating violence, wish to retain some degree of anonymity, often withholding contact info and even the the degree and intensity of the abuse. What we have learnt from cases that come via online channels like our partner Zariya (a virtual organization that helps women in need by connecting them to various organizations) is that anonymity makes women feel secure and in control of the situation. This means they limit the support we are able to provide them, and they do not access external support networks that could help them. Furthermore, it is difficult to provide support to a young woman without her parent’s knowledge or consent because the police prefer to have parental involvement on cases of unmarried girls, even if they are no longer minors.
They do this in an attempt to protect the identity of their partner as well as keep their abuse from become the reason their relationship is revealed. Most clients feel that sharing their problem is equivalent to betrayal, and they want to avoid any more damage to the existing relationship.
This has perhaps been our biggest challenge so far in terms of helping clients who choose to remain anonymous. Their reluctance to give out basic details becomes a barrier to the effectiveness of our support. Also, in cases like these, it is very rare that we get chance to counsel the aggressor and bring about a change in their behavior.
We hope that as digital tools make it easier for young women to access our support services, that they also help us cultivate a culture among the younger generation that believes in building relationships that respect their physical and emotional well being above anything else, even at times their privacy.
LOVE SHOULD NEVER HURT
Photo Source: Unkown
Ammara Habib
Ammara is Operation PeaceMaker's youngest Counsellor, and the Counsellor in charge of managing our online cases.
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Why it’s time India criminalised marital rape
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- CATEGORY: OPERATION PEACEMAKER
Why it’s time India criminalised marital rape
It is time to join the 104 countries around the world that allow marital rape to be prosecuted under the law and give the wives of India the right to live a life free from abuse and fear.
In one of my cases, I counselled an elderly couple who were addressing the violence in their household after nearly 35 years of marriage. With two grown children out of the house, the wife finally decided she was going to pursue peace. She had multiple health issues, some due to years of physical abuse that her now tired body gave evidence to. Her husband, while giving me his list of complaints against his elderly wife (his justifications for abuse), told me that it was her responsibility to have sex with him at least at night if not during the day as well.
In recent months the criminalisation of marital rape has been a topic of much debate in India. As Program Manager of Operation PeaceMaker I have first hand experience of the negative effects that this humiliating and degrading abuse has on women of all ages and walks of life.
For the second time in less than five years government appointed reports have slammed the legislature for failing to criminalise or even recognise marital rape.
Most recently the ‘Status of Women in India’ report, said, “The Act (Criminal Laws Amendment Act 2013) is silent on the issues of marital rape, making it an offence only in cases where the wife is under 15 years of age. The Verma Committee [lead by one of India’s most eminent male thought leaders for women empowerment] has, however recommended that marital rape be made an offence irrespective of the age of the wife. This shows the legislature’s failure to appreciate the growing menace of this crime wherein the victim has to suffer on a daily basis.”
The Panel also noted that that the United Nations Committee on Elimination of Discrimination against Women (CEDAW) had observed that India should amend its laws to “reflect the realities of sexual abuse experienced by women and to remove the exception of marital rape…”
Currently, the only recourse for women experiencing marital rape is through civil remedies provided under the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act 2005 – which does not provide criminal sanctions, which are necessary to adequately punish perpetrators of such a serious and damaging act.
While Maneka Gandhi, Union Minister for Women and Child Development has suggest that the government will look into amending the necessary laws it is important to note that only last month she claimed that India is not ready to criminalise marital rape due to a number of social factors; including poverty, illiteracy and religious beliefs. She also suggests there is insufficient evidence of marital rape occurring in India to warrant the government to consider the amendments.
Based on these comments I question Ms Gandhi’s understanding of the importance of these legal amendments. We must remember that our lawmakers have a duty to uphold and forge a path for citizen’s rights to equality and a life free from discrimination and abuse. These aren’t superfluous rights, but rights that are enshrined in our constitution and reflected in the UN Declaration on the Elimination of Violence Against Women, to which India is signatory to. I am sure that the masses would have said that India was not “ready” for one of the world’s most progressive sets of laws for the protection of women from domestic violence. Yet, in 2005, after years of advocacy by stalwarts led by Indira Jaising, Indian law set an example for its people and the world in this regard. In that moment, the purpose of the law was fulfilled to lead its people into an order that serves justice, not the unjust.
Furthermore, if as Ms Gandhi suggested, Indian society is not ready for such change, I would suggest at the very least, this warrants government attention to raise awareness amongst citizens, the police, judiciary and government officials about the need to respect a woman’s right to make decisions about her own body. In one of our cases last month a police officer refused to file a DIR (Domestic Incident Report) for our client who had just narrowly escaped from her house that was home to 16 years of daily violence including beatings and attempts to pimp her out to her husband’s friends. In the presence of our Counsellor, the policeman told her “It’s not like the abuse is happening right now. You’ve left, and it’s behind you. There’s no need to file a case.” Why is it that for a rape survivor we (theoretically) agree that she needs urgent care and action, but for a woman who’s torture happens in her own home we are so insensitive? The policeman in this case was even under a legal obligation to file the case, and to activate a process that the law dictates should only take 60 days to resolve. If officials are so insensitive to their duties under the law, how can we possibly expect any help from them when something is not acknowledged by the law?
To Ms Gandhi’s second point regarding lack of evidence to support the amendment, a recent gender study conducted by International Centre for Research on Women and United Nations Family and Population Fund in India, which shows that 1 in 3 husbands admit to forced sexual acts in their wives. Additionally, the National Family Health Survey reveals that 1 in 12 women surveyed said they had experienced sexual violence in their lifetime. More than 93% of these women said that they had been sexually abused by their current or former husband.
Sadly, this data is too often reflected in the work that I do with Operation PeaceMaker. In almost every case of domestic violence there is also sexual abuse. Everyday I meet women who have lost their right to consent, leaving them in a position of fear and powerlessness.
Instead of upholding the family unity at any cost, I ask our government to provide women with the legal framework to recognise this horrific act and to seek justice.
We like to think that sex within marriage is something partners enjoy as an act of love; that men understand that their wives’ need to feel safe to give them their bodies, and that wives understand that withholding intimacy is not a weapon of martial warfare. Yet, this is not the case for many marriages in India. I understand that it is not black and white, and proving marital rape is daunting. Yet, for women like my elderly client, the law provides no opinion, no assurance that what’s being done to her is wrong, and no recourse to indicate that she does not deserve abuse for refusing sex to a violent and controlling partner. For all she knows, the law agrees that it is her husband’s right to force her to have sex.
It is time to join the 104 countries around the world that allow marital rape to be prosecuted under the law and give the wives of India the right to live a life free from abuse and fear.
Dr. Farzana
This post was authored by Dr. Farzana. Dr. Farzana is Program Manager at Operation PeaceMaker. Her motto is "choose dangerous freedom over peaceful slavery". As well as managing domestic violence Counselling Centres across Telangana, Dr. Farzana advocates at the national and grassroots level for awareness on gender issues, in particular violence against women and girls. She had dedicated the past 10 years of her live to bringing about change in India to ensure women can live free from abuse.
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Help send Pavani and Pallavi back to school
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- CATEGORY: OPERATION PEACEMAKER
Help send Pavani and Pallavi back to school
Pavani and Pallavi’s education was interrupted when their mother Sandhya made the brave choices to escape 16 years of daily abuse and move to a safe home. Now, the girls are ready for school again, and Sandhya is working hard to start a new life. Will you help them?
Today we are launching our Mother’s Day Month crowdfunding campaign to send Pavani (11) and Pallavi (9) to school!
We decided to launch the campaign in the month of May, just after mothers day, in honour of Pavani and Pallavi’s mother (Sandhya) and all the mothers who have experienced domestic violence in their lives.
Three years ago, Sandhya sought help from Operation PeaceMaker and two months ago, she made the brave decision to leave her husband after 16 years of unrelenting marital abuse and violence.
Sandhya and her two daughters are now living in a safe home in Hyderabad, India and while they welcome the respite from the daily verbal, physical and sexual assaults, the move has upended the girls education. Due to the threat that their father will kidnap them from school and use them to blackmail their mother, a fear validated by the police, the girls have not gone to school since leaving home. Consequently, they were unable to give their final exams or return to their after-school activities and hobbies.
Sandhya is now working as domestic helper and daily wage labourer in a cloth market, and is making enough money to provide her daughters with basic living essentials, but she is unable to cover their school fees. Pavani and Pallavi need to get back to school and to their regular routines, to not only give them a sense of normalcy and help them cope with the turmoil in their lives, but also to help ensure that they fulfil their potential and avoid falling into the same cycle of inequality and abuse their mother faced.
Pavani is expected to start Grade 6 this academic year, and misses her English and Hindi lessons in the most, “there are so many stories, poems and rhymes in the lessons,” she says. Her favourite class was story telling, “every day, my teacher would bring a book from the library and read out a story. The entire class would be quiet, and we would listen with complete attention.” Her mother says, “I don’t understand English. Pavani will read the story, and explain the entire tale to me in Telugu.”
Her younger sister, Pallavi (9) is expected to start Grade 4 this year longs to attend her Science lessons again, “my teacher would teach us about plants and animals.” In her last tests at school, she scored a 25/25 in all subjects except English, in which she got a 24/25. Pallavi spends her time at the safe home by filling her notebook with sketches of cartoon characters and festival scenes. Recently, she gifted an elaborate hand-made card to one of the women staying at the safe home. Her mother is proud of her artwork, “Pallavi takes every opportunity to draw. She fills an entire notebook with sketches in a week.”
Both girls want to be doctors. Pallavi wants to be a doctor for the needy, “the poor don’t have the money for treatment, and I want to treat them for free,” she says. Pavani, on the other hand, wants to treat emergency cases, “I want to help people who have accidents because they get hurt, and there is no one to help them” she says.
More than 40 percent of married women in India suffer from domestic violence and many feel like they are unable to leave because they are financially dependent on their husbands. Going back to school will not only ensures that Pavani and Pallavi have access to their basic human right to education, but it will also give them opportunity to become strong, financially independent and empowered women.
By raising USD $1,500 we can send Pallavi and Pavani to school for two years, covering their school fees, books and uniforms.
Sandhya was supported to leave her situation of domestic violence through Operation PeaceMaker an initiative of the My Choices Foundation. Operation PeaceMaker has a number of initiatives in place which work towards providing women with financial independence. However, these often take time and this was an opportunity that we felt needed to be acted on quickly to ensure the girls did not miss the boat on education.
We are thankful for all your support and assure you that your money will be a blessed investment in raising two strong, independent and empowered women.
Operation PeaceMaker
This post was authored by the Operation PeaceMaker communications team. Our mission is to keep you informed, and full of hope.
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Announcing our rebranding: My Choices Foundation
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- CATEGORY: OPERATION PEACEMAKER
Announcing our rebranding: My Choices Foundation
Announcing our re-branding. The same, amazing work, but different logos.
We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.
-Walt Disney.
Anything new is always exciting and it leads us to paths undiscovered. Today, we too have something new and exciting to share with you all. You’ve seen the sneak peeks, but this is the official announcement! Yes – we’ve rebranded!
The name ‘ My Choices ‘ has been our identity for over 3 years now, and we LOVE this name too much to let go of it. Therefore, ‘My Choices’ has become our mother brand of two distinct operations and become the My Choices Foundation. We have a new look to our visual identity and have honed in on what the true ethos of My Choices is. You might be wondering why we need a mother brand?
We have been thinking about the organisational efficiencies of two separate NGOs, My Choices working in the area of ‘Anti Domestic Violence’ and Red Alert working in the area of ‘Anti Human Trafficking’ for some time now. While the two NGOs always had a significant amount of overlap of teams, resources, and messaging, they have up until now been marketed to supporters, partners and clients as distinct entities. The close association and common objectives become increasingly difficult to communicate to our key stake holders. Connecting the two took far too much elaborating. So why not let our branding speak for itself – that’s the point isn’t it?
Today, we want to re-introduce you to the two NGOs you have been following and supporting, not as two NGOs, but as one Foundation with two distinct but complimentary set of Operations.
The Mission
The My Choices Foundation started as a response to an issue that is so prevalent that it affects every household in India in some form. Violence against women and girls. While not every household experiences or witnesses violence within it’s own walls, at least one member of that family is certain to be exposed to it in some form whether first hand or through the experience of another person. Yet at around 60% of Indian homes do face violence at home.
The first response to this violence was to develop a program that would address the type of violence that is perhaps the most intractable, yet sits at the root of every other category of violence against women and girls: Domestic violence. By targeting the household, Operation PeaceMaker aims to access the very home of the mindsets that perpetuate violence and discrimination against women and girls. The home, just like the mindsets they house, is one of the most difficult spaces to access and difficult to affect change from within. PeaceMaking, getting families to work together to end violence against women and girls, is tremendously focussed work, and our efforts have stayed local in Andhra Pradesh and Telangana for the last 3+ years. Yet, we have long known of and been stirred by another massive dearth in education allowing families to be fooled and the lives of young girls and women destroyed.
The second response has been to address one of the most harrowing forms of violence: trafficking of young girls for sexual exploitation. Focussed on pre-empting girls and their families from falling off the cliff so to speak into exploitation, Operation Red Alert has worked for over one year on research, ground work, and networking to take shape into three major pillars of action.
Both Operation PeaceMaker and Operation Red Alert have been born from the desire to see families to become the focus of prevention and transformation of the most pervasive and intractable forms of violence against women and girls. Over three years into PeaceMaking and over one year into building Red Alert, there is much impact accomplished and a phenomenal amount more to come. There is no better time for every one of the supporters, friends, partners, and clients of both Operation PeaceMaker and Operation Red Alert to understand the common values and missions of both operations and how our teams work independently as well as together across these.
To help make our story and work clear, we have rebranded our logos and positioned them under a single Foundation, The My Choices Foundation. We believe that while both missions or operations are distinct, their success commonly relies on the choices of educated and empowered men, women, boys, and girls.
Our work is all about giving women and girls choices to live a life free from abuse, violence and exploitation. That has, and will continue to be, our guiding principle, and our new brand will reflect that. It’s a reflection of the journey we’ve been on for the last 3 years.
The Logos
The My Choices Foundation has been built on the vision of restoring the spice of life into the lives of women, girls and families, and making sure that this spice is never diminished by discrimination, exploitation, or violence. The most powerful spice in the Indian arsenal of vibrant flavors is mirchi (red chili powder), and red is the traditional color of many Indian festivals and celebrations. The My Choices Foundation logo is a heaping, circle of red powder. It is vibrant, it is Indian, it is bold, it is versatile, and it is a beacon of a life lived with zest and fullness.
The DNA of Operation PeaceMaker, once called “My Choices”, is bravery, compassion, and truthfulness. The turmeric yellow embodies the ideals of health and happiness that we hope can be the trophies of transformation in the lives of our clients. The heart is symbolic of both the goal of internal transformation in the lives of our clients and their families, and of our PeaceMakers who, choosing everyday to love a difficult world, are the bravest hearts you can find. The Operation PeaceMaker invites us all to join the story of peace-in-the-making.
Operation Red Alert as the name suggests aims to get people on alert for human trafficking.The red powder in the logo reflects the spice of life. Red colour is energizing, it excites the emotions, inspires urgency, and motivates us to take action. Similarly, the exclamation mark expresses strong emotion, urgency and action. The Red Alert logo aims to affect this kind of response in each person in India. It aims to trigger the emotion within us to take action and STOP this injustice! If we are alert, she will be safe! #BEONREDALERT
The brand new My Choices Foundation website with combined information on the two causes, Operations and respective work and campaign updates will launch END OF THIS YEAR!
This is our FIRST TIME sharing the combined updates of both our operations. Exciting! Isn’t it?!
Operation Red Alert
There are a lot of exciting projects that we have been working on for the last couple months and we are thrilled to share some of these updates.
GRASSROOTS AWARENESS TRAININGS
This week, we finished our first two trainings on our ‘2 Day Village Rollout and Grassroots Education’ in Hyderabad and Vijaywada. We had over 80 people be a part of this training from 15+ different districts and cities of Telangana and Andhra Pradesh. The training was extremely productive and concluded on a fruitful note with ‘The Red Alert Heroes’ (Area Coordinators) leaving with a strategy in place for the next 6 months of village level outreach.
By October 10th, we will be done with three additional trainings Kolkatta & Siliguri (West Bengal) with each training having the representation of over 40 people. With the combined teams over 3 states, we will see 160 Area Coordinators complete 240 village rollouts in the next four months! These 2 day village rollouts will be based on a Toolkit of training resources developed particularly to educate local stakeholders on the realities of and protections from human trafficking. The training is particularly focussed on reaching 4 target groups – fathers, mothers, young girls and young men – with prevention education on trafficking of young girls for sexual exploitation.
Our team has spent hours in the field and with other NGO’s working in the field to identify the at-risk villages that we will reach out to first.
ANTI HUMAN TRAFFICKING KIT:
Another exciting news is our ‘Anti-trafficking Toolkit ‘. Based on extensive research (conducted in partnership with the Behavioural Architects of Final Mile), we have worked on separate messaging for fathers, mothers, young boys and young girls and have designed these in the form of simple but compelling flyers. Apart from that, we have developed separate characters/heroes for these four groups and released our first comic strip with a straightforward message on anti trafficking. We hope that these strong visual tools can help us communicate with nearly equal effectiveness to illiterate parents.
We will be giving you the opportunity to help reverse-fund this comic book as well as its future editions. Look out for the update coming soon!
Operation PeaceMaker
With 4 fully fledged Counseling Centres in operation, one more opening later this year in Secunderabad and a partnership program developing in Bhopal, there is almost too much to update you on! We are, however, thrilled to announce the launch of a brand new platform connecting women who need help with the best, most relevant care possible.
Zariya is a new way for any woman with access to the Internet to say NO to Violence Against Women.
Zariya, launched on Gandhi Jayanti (October 2nd), is collaborating with Hyderabad-based My Choices Foundation to allow women who have faced violence to report and connect with counseling and legal assistance in a safe and time-sensitive way. Violence is the leading cause of death among women aged 16-44 (UN Women, Strategic Goals). In India, 30% of women tell someone that they have experienced sexual violence but only 1 in 100 women report due to fear, stigma and the danger of identity disclosure (Amnesty International, Ready to Report). Some women have been shot en route to the court (NDTV, 2014 Mathura Case). They often do not have the mobility to file reports or seek justice and help. Zariya’s free service embodies the values of anonymity, easy access, well-being and security for survivors of violence against women.
Operation PeaceMaker
This post was authored by the Operation PeaceMaker communications team. Our mission is to keep you informed, and full of hope.
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Why #Respect2Protect?
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- CATEGORY: OPERATION PEACEMAKER
Why #Respect2Protect?
Let’s try to understand the theme of this campaign and the target behind it. As stated above, society has chosen many relationship to protect a woman, however, abuses and discriminations that we see every day is still the reality.
Since its launch 3 weeks ago #Respect2Protect has gone viral and it has been received with more tremendous support and positivity than we could have imagined!
Along with those people who are taking up the pledge and burden of women’s right to respect, however, are those who are asking whether it is really needed. Aren’t women free to respect and protect themselves? Are we neglecting men’s rights? Aren’t we tired of all the women’s rights campaigns?
Although we think the campaign speaks for itself and that anyone watching it with an open and balanced perspective will understand its message, we also love to have a good conversation. We love the good questions – not the really nasty, pointless ones – and are happy to address them!
The article below was written by My Choices Program Manager, Dr. Farzana. Enjoy!
Patriarchy teaches society that a woman is only worth the protection she has standing guard over her. Her protectors are a myriad of prescribed things: Her dupatta (scarf) carefully draped to conceal womanly shape; The daylight she won’t step out of the house without; Her hair neatly pulled back so she doesn’t look too care free; Her eyes fixed to the ground so she does not invite attention. But to Patriarchy, her most important protector is her male guardian whether it be her father, brother, or husband. A woman or girl is nothing without the men who care for her and keep control over her wellbeing. A woman without her myriad of protectors is vulnerable, shameful, asking-for-it. To be most honest it is terrible unfortunate that woman are most abused by these relationships.
Let’s try to understand the theme of this campaign and the target behind it. As stated above, society has chosen many relationship to protect a woman, however, abuses and discriminations that we see every day is still the reality. The prime question is why these abuses and discriminations are not stopping, and the direct answer is we really do NOT respect women. If we respect her rights, equality, freedom, decision making, empowerment then she does NOT really need a protection. This is what the campaign is about. Don’t misunderstand the message and think it is about a woman needing a protection from a man. She already has many pillars mentioned above “protecting” her.
One of the concerns we have noticed from viewers is that a woman does not need a man and they are capable to do anything that she wants, and that the campaign video somehow negates women’s agency. It is not about whether she is capable or not, rather we need to understand that society is made whole when two, men and women, are together and equal. The beauty of society is determined only when they are together and parallel to each other.
On the other hand there is another approach which says if you talk about woman rights it is anti-men or woman centric. We are not advocating for taking away men’s rights & giving it to woman. It is true that woman are abused and harassed since ages. With advancement in society there have been many other and new forms of abuse and harassments. Women’s rights We are fighting a historic battle, that is finally starting to move convincingly in the right direction. Having said that, we strongly believe that there is need of additional thought process to bring a woman on the same playing field where a men have always been.
Those who think there is no need of women’s rights or there is no need of discussion on respect to protect, we ask how you ignore these data and truths which is never faced by a man. Every 20 minutes a girl/woman is raped, 40% (minimum) of married women are facing domestic violence, dowry death, gang rapes, female foeticide (943 girls per 1000 boys, 919 in 0-6 years), female infanticide, acid throwing, genital mutilation, systematic gender discrimination and violence in all senses. Does any man face sitting home or delayed marriage because of dowry or a case of dowry death, or gang rape, or being told what to wear or not to wear, or not being allowed to go outside due to unsafety, sex selective abortion? The list is endless.
Because of historic disadvantage we need affirmative action until women gain equality in every sense. Time has come where a man has to first understand he is human being, just like a womanis. He should know he is not there as protector in the patriarchal sense, but rather he needs to believe in equality and justice. He also needs to understand that he has to give up this burden of being a protector. But the question is are they ready? Till then they have to listen about these campaigns, special laws, reservations, violence data and so on…
Operation PeaceMaker
This post was authored by the Operation PeaceMaker communications team. Our mission is to keep you informed, and full of hope.
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Warangal Team Expansion
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- CATEGORY: OPERATION PEACEMAKER