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Month: December 2017

VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN ISN’T A WOMEN’S RIGHTS ISSUE, IT’S A HUMAN RIGHTS ISSUE

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  • CATEGORY: OPERATION PEACEMAKER

VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN ISN’T A WOMEN’S RIGHTS ISSUE, IT’S A HUMAN RIGHTS ISSUE

Founder Elca Grobler writes about gender based violence and what inspired her to pursue the idea of training local women to be #peacemakers and #changeagents.

Violence against women isn’t a women’s rights issue, it’s a human rights issue. More women are killed each year by domestic violence than by malaria, war and accidents combined. I’m driven by a righteous anger about the abuse and injustice so many women face today. With so much going so right, how can so much be going so horribly wrong?

Half of the world’s population is being slowly killed off by the other half. How did we get to the point in our modern society where almost half of Indian women face domestic violence? In 2017, we still have close to 50 per cent of the girls in India who marry, marry as children. How did we get to the point where 50 million girls in India are missing? Killed as infants or foetus. Why aren’t we, in 2017, at a point where we can break the cycle of violence against women?

In the lead up to the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women on 25 November and the 16 days of activism against gender-based violence that follow it, why do we, as a society, allow violence to ruin the lives of millions of women and their children? We must build awareness of the magnitude of this human rights crisis. Violence against women costs the global community $7 trillion a year, but it’s not the economic cost that should drive action, it’s the human cost.

We need to use platforms like the one given to us by the United Nations, to make the horror and impact of gender-based violence real to people, otherwise we won’t make any progress in eliminating it. Men need to join us on this journey – we should never exclude men because if you do so it’s like fighting a fight with one hand held behind your back. We need to make men part of the solution, encourage them to step up, speak up, but they can’t step up and speak up if they don’t know what the reality is – that’s why we need an international day to focus attention on the issue.

We also need to let women know about the extent of the crisis, so they can speak up, know they are not the only ones it’s happening to and it’s not their fault. This is a global crisis. We need women to speak up, we need men to be part of the solution. And that’s why the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women is so important.

When Opportunity International Australia’s partner, My Choices Foundation, started its domestic violence program, PeaceMakers, in India in 2012, we knew we couldn’t bring about change in communities from a head office. It needs to happen locally with local women. We realised we needed to train women to go into their communities and be the voice of change, put a stop to domestic violence.

I remember a very poor district in Hyderabad where we were training women to be PeaceMakers who go into the local community, counsel women and their families and refer them to domestic violence support services. I was leaving the training centre – walking down the stairs – and a Peacemaker who had trained two months previously was standing on the stairs waiting for me with a young girl who was completely covered – I could only see her eyes – even her hands were covered. I approached them. The girl was tiny, looked young, even though she was 20. She was forced to marry when she was 14 to a much older man and had three children by the time she was 17.

The young woman was facing severe domestic violence and had no one to go to, so she opened up to the PeaceMaker who worked in a local beauty parlour and wore a PeaceMaker badge so she was easily identifiable. The woman was at the point of taking her own life because she couldn’t see a way out of the abusive situation she was living in. For her, the courage to just get out of the house and wait on the stairs for me was enormous.

When we did one of our first training programs, we had a mock session with two psychologists and a PeaceMaker, when the lady being trained opened up about what was happening in her life. Her husband and parents-in-law locked her up, abused and starved her. Her life became our counselling session. Something happened that was magical – the 40 ladies in the room, who were a mix of Christian, Muslim, Hindu and Buddhist, joined hands and prayed for the woman. At that moment, the horror of what she faced every day surpassed religion. She became a very active PeaceMaker, preventing young girls from being trafficked. She’s become one of our star PeaceMakers, going from being trapped in an abusive situation herself, to being one of our leading PeaceMakers.

How can we still live in a world where we have so many dowry attacks, acid attacks? For me, eliminating domestic violence is a calling. I’m not able to do anything else. Everything I’ve ever done is a preparation to take up this journey and it both encourages and inspires me – doing something courageous transforms you. And it’s contagious. If you do something, stand up, speak up, it will catch on and others will get on board. It not only transforms you, it transforms the people around you as well. Although work at My Choices is not easy – it’s heartbreaking at times – it’s the courage I see in the women that inspires me. It takes courage for women and girls to stand up and speak about the abuse in their lives. I have a desire, a drive, to help them change their lives.

Gender-based violence touches all of us in some way as we’re all linked to a female. It’s a human rights issue that we must urgently solve. Speak up about it, be more informed about it, support it. Thank you. You’re making the world a safer place for everyone.

This article was first published by Opportunity International, followed by Women’s Agenda and SIGHT magazine.

Elca Grobler

Elca Grobler is the founder of My Choices Foundation. This article was written for Opportunity International as a part of the 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence Campaign.

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THE GLOBAL COMMUNITY NEEDS A PATHWAY OF ACTION TO ELIMINATE VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN

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  • CATEGORY: OPERATION PEACEMAKER

THE GLOBAL COMMUNITY NEEDS A PATHWAY OF ACTION TO ELIMINATE VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN

We must say “no” to violence against women and girls on Human Rights Day…and every day. The global community must recommit to a pathway of action, a pathway that involves policies, programs and resources to achieve progress as a society.

Sunday 10 December is Human Rights Day, the culmination of 16 days of activism against gender-based violence. Violence against women and girls is a human rights issue, not a women’s issue. We must say “no” to violence against women and girls on Human Rights Day…and every day. The global community must recommit to a pathway of action, a pathway that involves policies, programs and resources to achieve progress as a society.

At My Choices Foundation in India we want women, children and families to have choices to live lives free from violence, abuse and exploitation. We aim to stop domestic violence and sex trafficking by empowering women and girls to become change agents in their own families and communities. We educate ‘at risk’ women and girls, families and communities and provide free, grassroots support to women and girls who experience domestic violence. We’ve come a long way in our five years, helping over 4,000 women and girls and their families, but there’s much more to do.

Every day, I learn something new from the women we work with. One woman, Archana (name changed), stands out for me. Archana married when she was very young and has two daughters aged 9 and 12. She endured years of unimaginable abuse from her husband and in despair, decided to end her life. Then she thought: “Who will take care of my daughters when I’m gone?” This prompted her to seek help from My Choices. She rang one of our counsellors that day, but it took her a year to work up the courage to visit us to commence her journey to a life free from domestic violence.

What I find most inspiring from Archana’s story is that despite all she’s been through, she’s always smiling, she never complains about her situation. She says: “I have a future, I want to raise my daughters to be strong so they can take anything that comes their way.” She’s courageous, and we helped her raise funds for her daughter to go to school. Every time I meet her, I say “Wow!” because she’s so inspiring. No matter what, you have to keep going on for women like Archana.

Another extraordinarily courageous woman, Shabana (name changed), was so abused by her husband, she could barely walk, rarely talked. Her counsellor helped her for many months, she slowly improved. She started to gain hope and eventually said to us: “I know my worth, no one can diminish me.” Shabana finished college when she was young, so we encouraged her to get a job once her health improved. Now she says: “No one can harm me, I’ve transformed my life, I want to transform the lives of other women.” Shabana encourages other women experiencing abuse and violence to seek help from My Choices. She’s a role model for other women.

On Human Rights Day, let’s honour courageous women like Archana and Shabana. They are beacons of hope that we can stop domestic violence and bring about beneficial social change in our lifetime.

This article was first published in Opportunity International Blog.

Dr.Farzana Khan

Dr. Farzana lives by the motto, “I Prefer Dangerous Freedom over Peaceful Slavery”, which has given her a reputation for being versatile and energetic. Farzana has doctorate in political science with gold medal and PG diploma in human rights and an amazing background of 7 years of working with Human rights organizations in one of the most diverse parts of country, Uttar Pradesh. Her field of expertise encompasses constitutional and legal frameworks as well as the international human rights mechanism. Her professional and academic interests include gender, patriarchy, identity based violence, and laws related to women and children.

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VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN IS IN EVERYONE’S BACKYARD. LET’S JOIN TOGETHER TO ELIMINATE IT

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  • CATEGORY: OPERATION PEACEMAKER

VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN IS IN EVERYONE’S BACKYARD. LET’S JOIN TOGETHER TO ELIMINATE IT

While violence against women and girls is endemic in India, it touches us all, is in our backyard – irrespective of where we live, our socioeconomic background, our educational achievements.

My parents are American, but I was born and grew up in India. India is home, and I love this country. As a woman living in India, however, I’m acutely aware of the gender issues that prevail in this country. I’ve experienced it. My closest friends have experienced it. Too often, women are perceived as being owned by their father, brother or husband; in some households, this means that they’re the last member of a household to be served food and in others, it means that parents only invest in the education of sons. At least 50 per cent of men believe they have the right to be violent towards women. What’s more, many girls are taught from an early age they have no value, they exist to serve men and the family. They are groomed to believe men have the power and control. They’re taught to accept their lot in life, believing it’s their fate – whatever happens, just accept it quietly. They believe that this is the role of “good” women.

While violence against women and girls is endemic in India, it touches us all, is in our backyard – irrespective of where we live, our socioeconomic background, our educational achievements. It’s a universal issue, close to home, and we all have an obligation to eliminate it. That’s why the United Nations wants the world to unite by standing up against gender-based violence on the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women on 25 November and during the following 16 days of activism.

The United Nations is encouraging us all to piggyback off its global campaign, make the day our own in a way that’s meaningful to each of us. That’s where the strength of the day and the campaign lies – it’s catchy, it’s an issue that unites us all. It demands that we come together and get involved. Collectively as a global community, we must wake up and solve this issue.

Domestic violence makes it difficult for women to lift themselves out of poverty in India. It stops girls from going to school to receive the education they need to break the cycle of poverty and it prevents women from working to earn a living to provide for their families. Eliminating the violence that impacts 1 in 2 women In India is necessary for them to be able to make the journey out of poverty. A world free of poverty will not be realised until we have a world free from violence.

One of the first ladies I interviewed when I joined My Choices, Shravani, was from a family living in poverty. Shravani has three sisters and no brothers, the two older sisters have an intellectual disability, which meant they weren’t eligible for marriage and Shravani herself has a twisted foot after recovering from polio. As a woman from this type of disadvantaged family, Shravani thought she’d be very lucky to get married and that’s what her family thought as well. So, when a man came and asked for her hand in marriage, her dad jumped at the opportunity and cried: “This is our luckiest day.”

On the first day of her marriage, Shravani’s husband beat her and the daily physical and emotional abuse continued for nine years. She got to the point where she couldn’t bear to live anymore, bought rat poison, but didn’t take it because she worried about who would take care of her two children if she was gone. Then one day, Shravani met a PeaceMaker from My Choices.

“Before you take any action come and have a conversation with us,” said the PeaceMaker, who also worked as a hairdresser so that she could easily come into contact with women.

So, Shravani met with the PeaceMaker. It took one conversation with her for Shravani to do a 180-degree turnaround. She’d never been told that she was valuable. It only took one session of validation where she was told that domestic abuse is not inevitable, doesn’t have to be – that being a woman didn’t make her destined to be abused. She told the PeaceMaker she would go home and deal with it. Shravani went home and confronted her husband that night.

“No more,” said Shravani to her husband. “That’s it. You’re never going to raise a hand on me again. You can’t hit me anymore. I’ll report you to the police if you hit me. If I go missing, they’ll go looking for me. The PeaceMakers have my back. They’re looking out for me.”

He threatened to leave and went to his sister’s house, but she wouldn’t let him stay with her because she knew about his abuse. He felt so dejected, he went to the railway station, laid his head on the track then phoned Shravani.

“My head’s on the track,” he said. “Can you hear the train coming? I’m going to kill myself if you don’t stop this nonsense. If you keep standing up to me.”

“Thank you very much for nine years of marriage,” replied Shravani. “I thank God we’ve had two beautiful children, but I have nothing else to say to you,” hanging up on him.

Her husband returned home defeated, feeling he truly had no choice but to listen to Shravani, and begin being a different kind of husband and father. Their lives have never been the same.

Shravani’s story is similar to the stories of millions of women in India. At My Choices, we create a community for women. We empower women with knowledge that they are valuable, deserve respect, that violence and abuse are unacceptable. We counsel the whole family and help men understand that masculinity does not depend on having all the power and control, that they should share it with women. We empower women to change the balance of power and control in their family, give them the confidence to take action. In this way, through the elimination of violence against women, we hope women will go on to build livelihoods and break the cycle of poverty in which their families have been trapped for generations.

This article was first published in Opportunity International Blog followed by SIGHT magazine.

Hannah Surabhi

Hannah heads up marketing and communications for My Choices Foundation. Hope is her favourite concept. Her passion is working to help every person understand their role in making this world better, for everyone. This article was written by Hannah for Opportunity International as a part of the 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence Campaign.

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Your donations make it possible for us to give women and girls the choice to live a life free from violence and exploitation.

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AS AN INDIVIDUAL