My Choices Foundation mychoices – Page 4

Engaging Young Boys To Reduce And Prevent Gender-Based Violence

Engaging Young Boys To Reduce And Prevent Gender-Based Violence

“There are many NGOs working on women and girls’ issues, but I can’t recall any NGO that works with issues concerning boys. I feel the latter is very serious as well, one that calls for our attention, which is why I’m so happy to be part of this along with Aangan Trust and My Choices […]

“There are many NGOs working on women and girls’ issues, but I can’t recall any NGO that works with issues concerning boys. I feel the latter is very serious as well, one that calls for our attention, which is why I’m so happy to be part of this along with Aangan Trust and My Choices Foundation” says Rakesh, Young Host.

Youth Hosts who volunteered to be a part of the BoyTalk Project

As part of the BoyTalk Project, My Choices Foundation in partnership with Aangan Trust conducted a Master Trainer Programme for Youth Hosts on 16 and 17 March 2021. The aim of the programme was to facilitate comprehensive soft-skill development in young boys with respect to forming and sustaining group learning.

The BoyTalk project encourages young men to initiate conversations around toxic masculinity and gender-based stereotypes and understand how these preconceived notions can be harmful. Through conversations led by our Youth Hosts within their communities, young boys will be able to learn about healthy expressions of masculinity, how masculinity is a spectrum and will try to change the rigid gender narratives around “what it means to be a man.”

12 Youth Hosts attended the training programme. They gathered an in-depth understanding of key skills with the help of five states of the group learning process – forming, storming, norming, performing and grounding. At the end of the session, they felt confident about being able to coach and mentor adolescents.

If you would like to know more about the BoyTalk project, click here.

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This post was authored by the My Choices Foundation communications team. Our mission is to keep you informed on the cause, and hopeful that transformation is possible one story at a time.

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Sarita’s walk towards freedom

Sarita’s walk towards freedom

Sarita was married at 21. She didn’t know that her husband was an alcoholic when they got married. 11 years have passed with sleepless nights, broken bones and dried tears because of high levels of violence, harassment and abuse. When she was pregnant, she was badly beaten up by her husband and in-laws. Her mobile […]

Sarita was married at 21. She didn’t know that her husband was an alcoholic when they got married. 11 years have passed with sleepless nights, broken bones and dried tears because of high levels of violence, harassment and abuse. When she was pregnant, she was badly beaten up by her husband and in-laws. Her mobile phone and money were snatched and she was pushed out of her home in the middle of the night. With no money, she stayed by the door all night.

Hearing about the situation from neighbours, her parents arrived and took her to their place. After the delivery, the two families met and counselled Sarita’s husband. He assured both families that he wouldn’t be violent anymore. But it didn’t even last for two weeks. Sarita felt helpless and suicidal but accepted it as her fate. The situation worsened and she attempted suicide, but she was saved at the hospital. She moved to her parent’s home and found a job at a supermarket. Since her husband’s harassment continued, she approached a lawyer for help. But the lawyer took her money and disappeared. She was completely shattered and had no idea what to do next.

That’s when she came into contact with one of the PeaceMakers in the community. After hours and days of counselling, she understood the negative impacts of domestic violence – it was a journey of discovery as well as a ray of hope for her.

Sarita gathered courage and with the help of OPM’s legal team, filed a case of domestic violence and felt empowered enough to want to put an end to the relationship. She has taken steps to settle the matter amicably through mutual consent and is all set to start a new life free from violence, abuse and exploitation. Now, she lives peacefully with her lovely two daughters. She inspires women in her community to speak up against violence and shows that women can lead a peaceful life once we stand up for ourselves.

My Choices Foundation

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My Choices Foundation holds media sensitisation workshop on anti-child trafficking in West Bengal

My Choices Foundation holds media sensitisation workshop on anti-child trafficking in West Bengal

In an initiative to enable media to capture anti-child trafficking issues and pave the way to prevent child trafficking, My Choices Foundation conducted a one-day media sensitisation workshop at Birbhum, West Bengal on 8 March 2021. Lieutenant Dr. Hemanta Saha, Professor of Botany at Vidhya Sagar College in Birbhum inaugurated the programme and spoke on […]

In an initiative to enable media to capture anti-child trafficking issues and pave the way to prevent child trafficking, My Choices Foundation conducted a one-day media sensitisation workshop at Birbhum, West Bengal on 8 March 2021.

Lieutenant Dr. Hemanta Saha, Professor of Botany at Vidhya Sagar College in Birbhum inaugurated the programme and spoke on the importance of International Women’s Day, and how media can play a role in uplifting the lives of many women stuck in the clutches of trafficking. He appreciated the efforts of the My Choices Foundation’s work to end trafficking in West Bengal.

Vivian Isaac, the Programme Director of My Choices Foundation briefed the objectives of the workshop and management of Surokhito Gram Karyakrom (Safe Village Program in Bengali), anti-child trafficking campaign at Birbhum, Bankura and Bardhaman and sought support from the media fraternity for empowering the villages/communities on prevention of child trafficking and child sexual exploitation. He said, “The pen can reach where the sun cannot”.

Touching upon what child trafficking is all about, Soma Chakraborthy, Community-Based Organisation Liasion Officer applauded the journalists for their efforts and encouraged them to shape stories that point to solutions and counter misconceptions. She emphasised, “The story needs to be told in an informed voice grounded on empathy and sensitivity for the people to understand what trafficking is and why it must be eradicated.”

Adding a legal perspective to the programme, Ajjur Rehman, Public Prosecutor spoke about constitutional and legal dimensions and the existing laws under the Constitution of India. It was emphasised that stronger implementation of laws would be one of the pathways to end child trafficking.

If you would like to know more about the campaign/programme, click here – Media Kit (English), Media Kit (Bengali)

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This post was authored by the My Choices Foundation communications team. Our mission is to keep you informed on the cause, and hopeful that transformation is possible one story at a time.

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Survivor’s guide to getting through Valentine’s Day

Survivor’s guide to getting through Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day tends to trigger survivors of violence and abuse. Flowers and chocolates – a staple of Valentine’s Day as well as an apology gift – reminds survivors of the trauma they had been subjected to by their abuser. While the road to recovery may not be a smooth sailing boat, here are some things […]

Valentine’s Day tends to trigger survivors of violence and abuse. Flowers and chocolates – a staple of Valentine’s Day as well as an apology gift – reminds survivors of the trauma they had been subjected to by their abuser.

While the road to recovery may not be a smooth sailing boat, here are some things we can do to survive Valentine’s Day:

Start a new tradition: No matter what stage you are at your healing journey, you can always start something new that makes you feel good about yourself. Take the pressure off by focusing on romantic relationships and delve deeper into the relationship you have with yourself. Self Love Y’all!

Make yourself comfortable: Not interested in spending this day with couples? Say no. It’s okay to prioritise yourself instead of pleasing others. Stay in, watch a movie, eat ice cream or do whatever that makes you happy. You are allowed to feel anything and everything

Unplug: Social Media has become our worst enemy. It might help to not watch constant updates from around the world as well as advertisers bombarding us with Valentine’s Day special offers. Shut social media for a few days. It will help take the pressure off.

Plan in advance: It is always good to plan ahead of time about the days you know might trigger you and what steps you can take to avoid these triggers. It may not be Valentine’s Day, it always could be any other day that reminds you of someone/something. Plan what can help you overcome these triggers.

Surround yourself with people you trust: You must be around people who love you and whom you can trust. Let’s avoid people who might try to convince you to return to your abuser.

Do not be afraid to ask for help: If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, please know that you are not alone. We are here to help you. Call 1800 212 9131 to seek assistance in cases of domestic violence and abuse. If it is unsafe for you to call drop us a text or Whatsapp on 9333 40 4141. You can always take this quiz to know whether your relationship is healthy or unhealthy.

Rock the cliché: Watching a movie, eating a tub of ice cream, taking a nap, staying indoors, having a paintball fight, travelling or celebrating female friendships on Galentine’s Day will never get old. Don’t feel uncomfortable to do what makes you happy!

Forgive yourself: It’s okay if you are not able to do any of the things listed above. You can always restart whenever you feel you are ready. The most important part is that you should be comfortable.

At the end of the day, different things work for each of us. Choose what makes you happy. Always remember that there is always hope and help. To quote the one and only Albus Dumbledore “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if only one remembers to turn on the light”.

Our sincere hope is that triggers caused by days like Valentine’s Day might become less impactful and destabilizing over time through support and right methods. This journey may be a long one but we will always be there supporting you through it.

My Choices Foundation

This post was authored by the My Choices Foundation communications team. Our mission is to keep you informed on the cause, and hopeful that transformation is possible one story at a time.

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Love shouldn’t hurt: Valentine’s Day from the eyes of survivors of violence

Love shouldn’t hurt: Valentine’s Day from the eyes of survivors of violence

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, love is in the air. We may associate this day with love, affection, chocolates and flowers but it is not the same for everyone. Valentine’s Day can be a trigger for survivors of abuse and violence. In the past, brands have tried to align themselves to market this day […]

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, love is in the air. We may associate this day with love, affection, chocolates and flowers but it is not the same for everyone. Valentine’s Day can be a trigger for survivors of abuse and violence.

In the past, brands have tried to align themselves to market this day as an inclusive day. Unfortunately, no matter how inclusive we try to be, this day is dedicated to couples. For the survivors of abuse, it can mark as a day that reminds them of abuse and trauma that they have faced or are facing in their relationships.

Intimate partner violence is very common in India. According to the National Family Health Survey- 4, 1 in 3 women faces domestic violence. While some seek assistance and can break free from their abusers, the physical, psychological and emotional trauma can remain for the rest of their lives. A day like 14th of February or Valentine’s Day can push survivors into feeling more alone and depressed than they do any other day of the year.

Surviving abuse or violence may not imply being free from the trauma

Abusive relationships tend to leave a mark. Survivors can suffer from psychological, physical, or emotional distress. Many become susceptible to addictions to drugs or alcohol or develop psychological issues like PTSD (Post-traumatic stress disorder). Days like Valentine’s day can be painful since abusers tend to abuse under the garb of love. Gifts like flowers and chocolates which are the staple of V-Day are also presented as an apology after the abuse. These small triggers can create uncomfortable situations for survivors.

Getting through V-Day

The road to recovery for a survivor is slow and a gradual process. It is essential to acknowledge the situation and to understand that you have the power to define yourself and not let any event or day define who you are.

My Choices Foundation

This post was authored by the My Choices Foundation communications team. Our mission is to keep you informed on the cause, and hopeful that transformation is possible one story at a time.

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Orange the World: End Gender Based Violence

Orange the World: End Gender Based Violence

A 19-year-old woman was gang-raped by four men. Woman was beaten to death by her in-laws for dowry. 35-year-old woman was locked inside the toilet for over a year by her husband. Class 7 girl was raped and forced to marry. These are only a few of the many heartbreaking incidents that happened in […]

A 19-year-old woman was gang-raped by four men.
Woman was beaten to death by her in-laws for dowry.
35-year-old woman was locked inside the toilet for over a year by her husband.
Class 7 girl was raped and forced to marry.

These are only a few of the many heartbreaking incidents that happened in India during this year. Violence against women and girls is a human rights violation. It shocks us all and shakes the whole society.

Today (November 25), we commemorate International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women and launch the 16 Days of activism against gender-based violence that ends on International Human Rights Day (December 10).

These 16 days are a bridge between thinking of gender violence as a ‘women’s issue’ and understanding it as a ‘human rights’ concern that affects and touches all of us.

HARSH TRUTHS

Though tremendous progress has been made in the prevention of gender-based violence, it is still highly prevalent.

India is still rated high in terms of the severity and frequency of Gender-Based Violence. India can overwhelm you with her love but she also destroys you with her violence – especially if you are a girl.

Millions of girls and women are denied choices and experience various forms of violence during their lives – from child marriage, domestic violence, rape, harassment at work, sexual violence and physical abuse at home.

Since the outbreak of COVID-19 and as quarantines take effect around the world, there has been a huge upsurge in domestic violence – and now, many experts refer ‘domestic violence’ as the pandemic within the pandemic – an ‘intimate terrorism’.

Early forced marriages and India’s missing daughters continue to rise. Women and children are trafficked as part of a nationwide trade and end up in domestic and sexual slavery.

But it rarely dominates headlines and there is little public outrage or political will to end.

WHAT WE DO

My Choices Foundation is determined to end sex trafficking and stop domestic violence and raise voices to end all forms of violence against women and girls. We focus on educating young girls and empowering women to make free choices about their lives.

Our strategies include working with boys and men to bring a behavioural and attitudinal change towards women and girls.

The 16 Days of activism is the right time to listen, respond and act to prevent violence against women and girls. It is time to challenge the deep-rooted societal and cultural norms and demand strong policies and regulations against gender-based violence.

A safe world for girls and women is a shared responsibility. We must work together to create a world where every woman and girl feels safe at home, at work and on the street.

We all know what the right thing is to do, so let’s start doing it!

YOU CAN TAKE PART BY

Starting the conversation around violence against women and girls within your family or community.

Phone our helpline to report domestic violence – 1800 212 9131. To report sex trafficking and child marriage, call 1800 419 8588.

Volunteer for organisations fighting to end violence against women.

Listen to and believe all survivors.

Join our social media campaign #endviolenceagainstwomen by telling us ‘What stereotype will you challenge?’. Tag #mychoicesfoundation to let us know.

Donating to My Choices Foundation to continue our fight to provide women and children with a choice to live free from abuse, violence and exploitation.

My Choices Foundation

This post was authored by the My Choices Foundation communications team. Our mission is to keep you informed on the cause, and hopeful that transformation is possible one story at a time.

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Shobha’s Decision For A Better Future

Shobha’s Decision For A Better Future

15-year old Shobha* loves to study and says, “It makes me so happy and is a way for a better life”. She works hard to ace her board exams now. Without your help, she would have resorted to prostitution out of desperation to support her family. Born in a poor background, Shobha’s parents struggled hard […]

15-year old Shobha* loves to study and says, “It makes me so happy and is a way for a better life”. She works hard to ace her board exams now. Without your help, she would have resorted to prostitution out of desperation to support her family.

Born in a poor background, Shobha’s parents struggled hard to put food on the table. They made INR 100 per day as daily labourers, taking up random jobs that come their way. It didn’t deter Shobha. She was determined to go to school, study hard and become a respected professional in the future.

SILENCED AND SHATTERED

Unexpectedly, one day her father fell ill and couldn’t go to work any longer. Her mother’s earnings were barely enough to get through a day and her father’s medical expenses began to mount up. Village leaders and religious practitioners advised Shobha to be dedicated to temple – the prevalence of the ancient Devadasi system still exists in some parts of India. It is an oppressive practice of young girls and women being regarded as temple property and sexually exploited. With no knowledge about the consequences, Shobha agreed.

HOPE ARRIVED

During 2019, we have organized the Safe Village Program, a two-day program for educating and empowering communities about sex trafficking. Our Implementing Partner on the ground heard about Shobha’s situation from one of the villagers. He reported this to Operation Red Alert (the Anti-trafficking arm of My Choices Foundation) and immediately intervened.

We partner with grassroot-level NGOs and community-based organizations to empower the vulnerable population through various awareness programs on sex trafficking, child abuse, child marriage, child sexual slavery and gender-based violence.

We met with Shobha’s family and explained the brutal effects of prostitution and the age-old harmful practices of the temple prostitution. Though they were reluctant initially, our persistent efforts made them realize their mistakes.

BE PART OF THE JOURNEY

Thanks to our partners and supporters, Shobha has been saved from one of the acute degenerative practices for suppressing young girls and women. She is happy and confident, and equipped to lead her life on her own choice.

On this World Day Against Trafficking in Persons, would you like to support girls like Shobha, please click here.

*Name changed for protecting the identity of a young girl

My Choices Foundation

This post was authored by the My Choices Foundation communications team. Our mission is to keep you informed on the cause, and hopeful that transformation is possible one story at a time.

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Celebrating International Day Of The Girl: Make The Unheard Heard

Celebrating International Day Of The Girl: Make The Unheard Heard

On International Day of the Girl, we celebrate the strength and potential of girls across the world. This day is an opportunity to reinforce the needs and challenges girls face while promoting girls’ empowerment and the fulfilment of their human rights. My Choices Foundation stands with girls everywhere as they break stereotypes, push boundaries, lead […]

On International Day of the Girl, we celebrate the strength and potential of girls across the world. This day is an opportunity to reinforce the needs and challenges girls face while promoting girls’ empowerment and the fulfilment of their human rights. My Choices Foundation stands with girls everywhere as they break stereotypes, push boundaries, lead global movements, and take charge of their future.

In the latest edition of Sanctuary magazine, our founder Elca Grobler has shared the story behind My Choices Foundation and how we make an impact among girls and women in India. You can check out here.

Girls are bold and their actions are transformative. As this year’s theme ‘My voice, our equal future’ highlights, they are increasingly proving to be raising their voices and taking charge of their future – from addressing gender-based violence, to closing the education gap and eliminating child marriage.

“There are two powers in the world; one is the sword and the other is the pen. There is a third power stronger than both, that of women and girls”.

– Malala Yousafzai, Educational activist

CHALLENGES GIRLS’ FACE

Girls are an active part of society and have made tremendous progress in the last few years. Yet far too often, they are denied their rights and opportunities to realise the full potential. Most girls aren’t getting a fair start in life. The shutdown of schools and other effects of COVID-19 have put millions of girls at risk more than ever before. There is a huge spike in domestic violence cases and it is predicted that most girls would never return to school.

We are at the brink of losing years of progress. We cannot afford it and we need to act fast.

WHAT WE DO

My Choices Foundation creates awareness about child sexual abuse, child marriage, child sexual slavery, cyberbullying, and harassment through multiple awareness programs. We educate young girls and equip women to be agents of change. We fight to stop gender-based violence so that girls everywhere can live a life of dignity.

We strongly hold the value of educating and empowering girls as well as boys for an equal future and balanced world.

Girls’ eye view is important in solving their challenges and our powerful interventions and approaches are aimed at working alongside young people in the community – we listen to them, understand their needs and help put their ideas into action. We are inspired and amazed by the enthusiasm within each girl we encounter during our field-based programs and grass root-level activations. They are strong, determined and prepared to lead for a better future.

We encourage you to take a moment to voice your thoughts on the conditions girls face in your neighbourhood, community and society.

We invite you to share your voice below on this question: “How can we support girls to become future leaders of our world?”

Let’s keep the conversation going to make the unheard heard.

My Choices Foundation

This post was authored by the My Choices Foundation communications team. Our mission is to keep you informed on the cause, and hopeful that transformation is possible one story at a time.

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Aarohi Finds Herself And Her Future

Aarohi Finds Herself And Her Future

This drawing is an expression of a 17-year old girl, Aarohi at My Choices Foundation’s Safe Home. SCARED AND WITHDRAWN Aarohi* couldn’t bring herself to talk about what happened to her when our Safe home social worker met her. She was dressed as a boy and refused to identify herself as a girl due to […]

This drawing is an expression of a 17-year old girl, Aarohi at My Choices Foundation’s Safe Home.

SCARED AND WITHDRAWN

Aarohi* couldn’t bring herself to talk about what happened to her when our Safe home social worker met her. She was dressed as a boy and refused to identify herself as a girl due to the constant fear of abuse.

Her eyes were filled with fear and her scars ran deep – she was constantly sexually abused and molested by her family members. She was too young to understand the complexity of the kind of violence when she experienced it for the first time. She felt utterly powerless and the constant abuse forced her to run away from home. Police found her at Hyderabad (in South India) railway station one early morning and approached My Choices Foundation for help.

FEELS VALUED AND LIBERATED

Her journey of recovery at our Safe Home was long and challenging. After concerted efforts from our counsellors, she listened. Coping mechanisms taught during the counseling sessions helped her to come out of the garb as a boy – she felt liberated to be called herself as a young girl. We continued to work with her through intensive counseling sessions and one day, she opened up. She spoke. She cried relentlessly. She started to express herself through art.

But the deep-rooted cultural, societal and gender norms made her feel unclean. We adopted positive interventions to build her self-worth and self-esteem.

Guidance worksheets to understand self-worth

Healthy emotional expressions

Sessions on safe and unsafe touch

Laws against child abuse

Overcoming trauma and strengthening mental health

Currency notes activity (INR 100 note doesn’t lose its value though it is crushed and similarly, her value hasn’t changed or diminished because of the abuse)

Aarohi boldly testified against her family to get the justice she deserves.

She continues to outpour her emotions through creative expression – but with bold and bright colours. She still receives counseling and finds our Safe Home as a safe space where she is heard and felt.

Aarohi’s drawing on her experience living at our Safe Home.

BE PART OF THE JOURNEY

Aarohi raised her voice for justice. She inspires us. She leads a new life because of your actions and donations.

Aarohi was fearless and got justice against all her odds. We encourage you to be fearless and join the fight against sex trafficking in India. Your contribution can help thousands of children like Aarohi. Play your part and support our work by donating now.

*Name changed for protecting the identity of a young girl

My Choices Foundation

This post was authored by the My Choices Foundation communications team. Our mission is to keep you informed on the cause, and hopeful that transformation is possible one story at a time.

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Domestic Violence Awareness Month – October 2020

Each NetBall Goal is a heavy blow at the heart and the head of the traffickers

October is recognized as Domestic Violence Awareness Month. It was initiated with the purpose of changing the attitudes of society to a zero-tolerance approach to domestic violence, to create policy changes, increase the understanding of the impact of domestic violence on the victims, and to provide programs and education that will facilitate this change. The […]

October is recognized as Domestic Violence Awareness Month. It was initiated with the purpose of changing the attitudes of society to a zero-tolerance approach to domestic violence, to create policy changes, increase the understanding of the impact of domestic violence on the victims, and to provide programs and education that will facilitate this change.

The Domestic Violence Awareness Month originated in the 1980s in the USA when a day in October was celebrated as the “Day of Unity” by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. The Day of Unity eventually became an entire week of awareness activities that were conducted at various levels of the state. In October 1987, the first Domestic Violence Awareness Month was observed. The focus of this month was to mourn those who had lost their lives due to domestic violence, celebrating those who survived, and connecting those who need help to organizations and individuals who can provide support.

In India, we have witnessed a rise in Domestic Violence as a result of the COVID-19 lockdown restrictions. According to the National Commission for Women (NCW) India, there has been a 100% increase in domestic violence against women after the nationwide lockdown was imposed in March 2020. This twofold increase has pushed NCW to announce Mental Health Helplines for those witnessing any form of domestic violence. My Choices Foundation also introduced its toll-free helpline 1800-212-9131 to make help accessible to women in distress.

Domestic Violence was a grave concern even before the onset of the nationwide lockdown. Isolating at home has resulted in an increase in abuse. Having nowhere to go and no one to ask for help can be debilitating. The impact of COVID-19 has made the need for support and services for those experiencing abuse more critical than ever. Join us throughout the month of October to raise awareness by sharing information that can help those who are experiencing violence in their home. Because for them, home isn’t the safe space it ought to be.

If you are a victim of Domestic Violence, please know that you are NOT alone.

If you are experiencing domestic violence or are in an abusive relationship please call- 1800 212 9131, if it is unsafe to call leave us a message on WhatsApp- 9333 40 4141

My Choices Foundation

This post was authored by the My Choices Foundation communications team. Our mission is to keep you informed on the cause, and hopeful that transformation is possible one story at a time.

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